Hmmmmmmmm.. It's 12.22am. I'm tired but not really sleepy. I'm having a complicated mood. How should I describe about it? Currently, I'm being a volunteer at church. So, I spend most of my time at church. I will be at church from every Tuesday to Sunday. Monday is a off day for us. But I didn't go to church for last few days as something happened. I really feel like don't wanna to be a volunteer at church anymore. I don't know why this feeling suddenly came to me. I'm physically and mentally tired. And my dad does not really like me to spend most of my time at church because he thinks that I should stay at home and do some house works. Yea. He's right too. I WAS happy to do God's work with all of them. But i feel kinda helpless. Maybe the other volunteers deserve a reward after all that but I'm not!! I can't even fully complete a simple thing. And I will have the 'ngiak' mood when I think of it's the time to go to church for work. Maybe I should tell pastor I don't wanna be a volunteer at church start from next week. Should I??? I feel lonely without Xing and Susu. There're no more REAL BEST FRIENDS there. There's no one that I can share my happiness and sadness with. And there're too many things happened in this few weeks. Everyone around me is changing, including me. But please don't judge some one's fault, attitude...easily before you JUDGE yourself. Don't judge a book with it;s cover! I don't think human can judge. GOD is the only one who can judge! For my family and all my friends, I'm very clear about what am I doing now, please don't blame or worry. And for those who do not like me, you can just walk away from my life or just kick me out of your life. Human loves to say "I will appreciate.. , Please appreciate everything that you have.. , I will appreciate my friendship..." Thousands of APPRECIATE.. But.... Do you really appreciate?? Don't just say it with your mouth. Please prove it by your action!!
